hit the north.

with a great big whopping anti-unwelcoming face stick.
i have been here for 29 days now,and it feels somewhat disconcerting to realise that people are insinuating already that they can't stand you.
okay,remember that you must be yourself in these situations,no matter how much it bothers you,people cannot like everyone here.
but it is when you can hear them insinuate said things as you walk out of a manchester pub,and worse still,you know them because you've just spent the past 2 hours talking to them in a socialist party meeting,that yes,it is going to bother you.
but these things do happen.
and it really is a wonder why i don't keep the company of them in the evenings,and tonight showed me that in all its glory.
i get it from the people i live with too-it's like snobbery,even though it's probably me being the snob. i actually have a reasonable relationship with my parents,while the other 4 in my flat keep theirs at arm's length,which is fair enough,but if you look at most of them it's like ''hey-let's go wild-fuck the parents!''. i do have that sense of experiment,but it's more prevalent at an altered state of consciousness. i like to let my parents know how i get on,as well as my friends,and they don't seem to have that interaction,which makes it hard when i'm homesick. i feel like an outsider in this city,and it feels isolated. i mean,there's so much to do,but the people that make it just aren't as they seem. i expect too much of things,that's my problem.
anyway,i have an update on the current situation. i was walking back from manchester city centre yesterday afternoon,and was walking past my uni,and i saw him,with his best mate. luckily he didn't see me,he had turned a different direction and he was on his phone,but his mate saw me and acknowledged me. i was petrified that he knew about the whole one night stand and the argument,and he later commented me saying that he didn't know if it was me,and i did look petrified,but it just made him laugh. people seem to have that ''startled rabbit'' effect on me. sigh.